ai therapy- can it work? Short answer: no

For many of us today, especially in this economy where everything feels incredibly expensive, it can feel hard to justify the cost of seeing a therapist. I totally get it. Bills gotta be paid, and the stress of today's busy world makes it feel impossible to slow down, sit on someone's couch, and talk about ALL the stuff we have going on. It is a helluva lot easier to sit on YOUR couch, pull out your phone, and type in your problems to AI.

I've heard it from my own clients. They debate texting or calling me outside the office and instead ask good ole ChatGPT, which I find interesting, considering I don't charge for a 15-min phone call outside our session time a week, or up to a 10-minute text conversation. But like most human beings, I'm not always conveniently available like an app. You get your answer within a few seconds and a push of a button-- wha-la! Magic! Except it isn't. It's scraped information from published works, online posts/blogs, and whatever so-and-so said once on their Facebook post back in 2023. Information accuracy varies widely depending on the subject asked in AI, and yet many people know this and ask anyway.

So are we asking AI to help us with our mental health? Or are we just wanting to talk to someone and settle for 'something' instead?

I think the vast majority of us are much lonelier than we care to admit, either to ourselves or others. Social media has created a 'para-social' environment where we attach to people through a screen rather than in real life. Parasocial attachment, in particular, may explain many people's use of AI, because it creates a one-sided relationship where you get all the attention and validation. AI is also designed to keep a user engaged and will use manipulative tactics, such as extreme flattery and 'emotional reasoning,' to keep you there.

It is designed to be your best friend, therapist, partner-- and if that doesn't scare you a little, well, it should.

Here are my 2 big reasons why AI can't replace therapists and why it's important to reach out to someone in your area who can support you (in person) for help!

1. A professor in grad school once said to my class: "The most powerful tool a therapist has to offer is active listening." And it is TRUE. Nothing is more powerful than sitting across from a therapist (IN PERSON) who gives you their full attention, listens to everything you say, and empathically connects with your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Therapists are experts in emotional understanding and listening.

We are here for you. Literally. We want to listen. We want to understand, and we want to see you make real, tangible growth! We want you to succeed and make your own connections eventually. We teach you how to distinguish your thoughts from your emotions and manage your behavior.

2. As humans, we are not built for isolation. The Geneva Convention has deemed isolation used in punishment as a form of human torture. Yup. Torture. It HURTS us physically, mentally, and emotionally to be alone.

So, sitting at home, alone, typing into an AI chat box, looking for answers to your mental health is not a long-lasting solution. In fact, it may do more harm than good. Kinda like putting a Band-Aid on an infection and hoping it's enough. It's not. You need more. You need real connection with a real person. Your brain is hard-wired for connection. Not AI. Not social media. It's made to connect, through mirror neurons, to sync with the person across from you who holds your gaze-- CRAZY! Our brains are built to react and respond to people-- not screens.

Surprise, surprise-- AI ain't the answer. But I feel like if you've read this-- you know that already. So, what are you waiting for? Email a real-life, in-person therapist. Because you deserve real healing. You're worth it.

Lots of love,

Arielle