As a therapist, I often am confronted with the concept of time. Either for scheduling appointments, monitoring the time, or simply waiting. What is fascinating to me about time is when we use it in terms of healing, growth, change, whatever you want to call it. Many of us have heard the age old saying: Time heals all wounds. But does it? Or has time merely given you the opportunity to change and grow, thus your perspective on your issues has evolved? Maybe transforming into a more compassionate and loving perspective? Maybe. Maybe not. Food for thought at least.
And then I hear this insidious presence of time demanding more from my clients:
"I’ve worked so hard! Why am I not feeling better?"
“He will change when...”
“Once this happens, I can finally...”
"I expected to have it together by now."
*Cue emotional disappointment! And sad, pouty face.*
Time is abstract and unseen yet we use it to dictate the tempo of our lives!That just sounds nutty. We also have an expectation that with time there will be a payout, outcome, or want that comes into existence and all thanks to handy-dandy time! Or maybe we’re pissed off at time for not working fast enough for us. It’s taking too long and waiting feels impossible. Time becomes the issue. When it has nothing to do with it.
Yes, I do believe time helps heal wounds, but it doesn’t have the power to fix or change anything. It’s time! Not Superman.
When it comes to emotional growth and healing I want you to tell time to take a hike. Seriously. It’s not relevant here. Grow at 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 pace. Make a decision in this waiting space to work on yourself or not. But at least acknowledge the time you have and make a decision. Yes, waiting sucks. Yes, it’s hard to have expectations of yourself so don’t add another by putting a time stamp on it. When we have high expectations of ourselves, remember it usually leads to disappointment.
Either way, you are doing something! You are showing up and attempting to make active change in your life. That’s amazing and give yourself the credit! I wish there were more people out their giving themselves the opportunity to heal and change, to understand themselves rather than sit in the powerless feelings of shame, anger, depression or anxiety. By saying, “it was the right time” makes time the powerful force in your life that deserves the credit instead of you! No way! Stop giving your power away to time.
Time goes on with or without us regardless. You are the force of change. You are worthy of healing and growth, of love and support. 🖤
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